Day 4: Cindy

Writing:  The acquisition of authorship.  These are the voyages of the starship Muse. Its lifelong mission:  to explore strange new words [ not a typo], to seek out new texts and new topics, to boldly lead where emerging writers will seek to follow.  

Ensign’s Blog, Stardate -309579.1    On our fourth day of word crafting, Jeanne utilized the time warp feature and transported us to Wednesday with the first of the participant-generated blog posts.  This accomplished both the important mapping of the previous day’s lessons and a creative yet precise application of the multi-genre approach. Sensors revealed no unusual activity. 

On reentry, Amy proceeded to our warm-up. The atmosphere of poetry can present some learners with shortness of breath.  Her warm-up was a structured activity to ease whatever anxieties the crew might have possessed. Amy’s suggestions to generate responses to the stems “They tell me to be...; I tell them I’m...” occupied the crew in quiet contemplation.  Her examples of the stems, paired with explanatory phrases, were ample enough to get our ink phasers primed and set to stun.  Following time for each member to generate some satisfactory completions, all stood and shared a favorite, round robin style.  Not only did this generate a larger poem--a model that could be used by each member in subsequent missions--but also served to remind the crew they share some similar thoughts.   First Officer Margaret captured the potential of the stems to lead to further explanation and the possibilities of discussing parts of speech.

They tell me to be a freighter,

To increase my capacity to haul, [to]pull, [to]carry, [to]deliver. (Look at those infinitives.......)

I tell them I am a sailboat

Dancing nimbly on the waves, cresting and ducking,

Feeling the breeze

Connecting far corners of the world  (and present participles!)

-309579.16  Having beamed aboard earlier, Clancy Rone (new captain of the Starship John Muir), proceeded with the possibilities and benefits of exploring poetry. Navigation Officer Andra read a transmission from the Edutopia Quadrant on 5 reasons we should use poetry in schools.  http://www.edutopia.org/blog/five-reasons-poetry-needed-schools-elena-aguilar?page=1&utm_medi=&quicktabs_edutopia_blogs_sidebar_popular_list=2

The first exercise, appropriate with different layers of scaffolding for most school lifeforms, was a columnar simile/metaphor generator.  Using our manual replicators, we all successfully created and filled in our columns.  By mixing and matching, we were able to first generate similes, and then metaphors. Our products ran the gamut from profound to ridiculous. Sasha managed to maintain the integrity of the neutral zone when John challenged her metaphor: “Happiness is an ivory-colored baby bottle”  with “Happiness is a taupe gun.”  (Post-entry note:  We have since learned that John has the potential to display a “shitty attitude”. Perhaps best to advise the captain to avoid taupe John’s quarters. Best to err on the side of ecru.)

Having made much use of the replicators, Captain Clancy dispensed many materials on poetry.  From the Common Core galaxy to the Poetry Out Loud nebula, the crew was transported on a trek from fanciful (find and “use poems you love”[Clancy] for models, or close reading, for playing with and discovering) to practical (Appendix B of the 7th grade [and others] CCSS is a list of really fine exemplars to use for close reading).  Though traveling at warp now, the crew kept up.

Due to a distortion in space-time, I didn't receive as much chance as I'd wish to mull over, practice, and reflect on the materials Captain Clancy gave us; however, experiencing the effects of it herself, she did highlight and explain portions of the folder.  These may be re-accessed through the Moodle interface.  

-309578.25  The crew reconvened on the bridge after enjoying extended lunch leave. Some made use of the time for personal rejuvenation or terrestrial discoveries.  Others met with their away teams, the response groups who accompany and shield our fragile products, for feedback and suggestions about various narratives or poems.  

Now approaching the Grammar Delta, the crew eagerly attended to the screen to engage the world of  Contextless Grammar Practice--am alien landscape to some, but oh, so familiar to others.  Starfleet must be pleased with First Officer Margaret's succinct yet thorough review of studies that warned the crew not to be led astray by the race of isolated practice.  Studies hearkening back all the way to stardate -361000 (1962).    For those unfamiliar with the Appositive, a discovery mission was launched wherein members, utilizing the safety of the buddy system, began identifying traits that could help us recognize it.  

First Officer Margaret, whose inclination is to arm with information as much as phasers, suggested these resources:

More study results on the Moodle site

Image Grammar : Using Grammatical Structures to Teach Writing by Harry Nolan

Breaking the Rules: Liberating Writers Through Innovative Grammar Instruction by Edgar H. Schuster

Crew members added:

The Giggly Guide to Grammar  by Cathy Campbell, Ann Dumaresq and Michael Burke

Phunny Stuph:  Proofreading Exercises with a Sense of Humor  by M.S. Samston

Here’s a list of identifiers for appositives:

• nouns or noun phrases
• a cause for a pause for more information or an example (of the preceeding noun)
• restates or clarifies something about the noun in a different way
• separated from the noun by comma/s
• not necessary for the sentence to make sense

Further revelations were shared as the ship, being in proximity, made a journey to explore the potential for appositives to add authority or attitude. The fine nuances in language offered rich fodder for us to discern what appositives contributed to the implied intent of the authors.  (It was here that crewman John shared with us his encounter with “shitty attitude.” Thankfully, decontamination appears to have been effective.)

Crew members, who were now primed for stimulation, crafted sentences for the vehicular red shoe that appeared on the screen.  Both attitude and authority were in evidence as we attended to details:  70’s fashions, Sturgis, and more.

Bearing in mind the mandate of the Prime Directive, I will seek to continually remind myself not to interfere in the details of the lives of writers’ products, but to let their journeys of self-discovery emerge.   I must carefully and contextually offer them their own prime directives:

• What grammar choices are available?
• What effect will they have on this piece?

As the mission for the day began to come to a close, Navigation Officer Andra, having made use of the replicator, dispensed some nourishing tidbits of personal narratives. She gave the crew time to savor the promise of these pieces (buddy system again), then invited group sharing.  I learned a valuable lesson:  those indicators of “good” writing, the elements we see that suggest quality, vary from person to person.  Where Kim and I saw richness in detail that indicated “good narrative” in “The Hit” and promising hints trends in the other two, many of our fellow crewmates expressed that the voice of “Scary Encounter” advanced it to the most compelling.  

Our discovery mission led to this list, a product which should be referenced, rather than regarded as rigid.  (Sorry for the little diversion to the Enhancement Zone’s Alliteration Cluster.) Depending on audience and purpose, narratives may
*offer rich details, including sensory--with the added caveat that the details CONTRIBUTE MEANINGFULLY

• *strategic dialogue
• *the order makes sense, even when not chronological
• *emotionally charged--an element of tension
• *connecting phrases, transitions, help guide the reader
• *the reader has a personal investment
• compelling lead or opening
• satisfying conclusion
• addresses the “So What” factor--why should I care?
• connecting with the reader in a way that may look beyond and not be overly conclusive
• a universal tie-in (some element we can relate to?)

Our officers suggested that this kind of journey of discovery is helpful before the first draft and/or prior to revision.  Models like these may be low-threat ways to implement the Prime Directive:  classes can collectively critique and contribute* to rubrics that lead students to personal treks in pursuit of elements that matter to them at the time, which address the purpose or audience, or for their developmental readiness to apply those elements. (*Captain! The engines are straining to escape the gravitational pull of that Alliteration Cluster! They can't take another pass! Watch where you're going!)   

First Officer Margaret presented us with “Three Rhetorical Modes of the CCSS”--a summarization of writing standards for 11th grade.

Primed now for encounters with my crewmates’ landing parties, I was transported, as if by holodeck,to:

• an acreage outside Klamath Falls, where Kim,a young girl at the time, gained stature within the confines of her servant’s quarters when her grandmother redeemed herself with a simple act of awareness
• an ethereal consideration of women who touch Carrie’s life through a narrative rich in language craft “never appears fat, just full” and “fragrance of adoration”
• a pilgrimage of thanks led by Sasha

Ensign’s Postscript, Stardate -309585.07   My apologies to the crew.  The manual override on my tricorder means that I am unable to adequately translate all the data presented and shared.  The mind trips I was taking with some of the crew led me to rely on my memory for content at the end of the day.  I didn’t record enough details to help me summarize.  My apologies to John and Heather for neglecting the content of your sharing.  Anyone wishing to modify this post, for accuracy or omissions, is invited to do so. 

Furthermore, my apologies to any true Trekkers who recognize the many errors in Starfleet Protocol and series details.